A thrill of Hope...
We are almost there, almost to December 25th. Just a few more hours, depending on which part of the world you are in. For me, we have another day in Dallas, TX.
The rum cake has been baked in batches. I have my third batch in the oven, ready to take to India. The gingerbread houses have been built, and the Advent calendar has been opened for 23 days, with only one little door left to open. We have enjoyed the twinkling lights of our Christmas tree, and the presents are wrapped and ready to be opened.
We have done some caroling and enjoyed some fun Christmas parties. The packing for our trip has begun, and along the way, I am also cleaning the house so we can return to a tidy house with all the laundry done.
I have a little bit of OCD, and I love my lists! Nothing gives me more pleasure than checking things off my list. It gives me a feeling of deep fulfillment. Advent & Christmas can be busy, and I don’t want to miss anything.
About six years ago, my husband and I discussed the service and music when driving home from the Christmas Day service. We both agreed that if we never had to sing O Come All Ye faithful one more time, we would be the happiest people! However, we also felt that while it was only noon on Christmas Day, as far as we were concerned, Christmas was over.
Although according to the church calendar Christmas officially begins on December 25th and goes all the way to Epiphany on January 5th, I have always struggled with celebrating Christmas after the 25th.
That particular day six years ago, our family was exhausted. The 24 days leading up to Christmas were filled with choir programs, piano recitals, Christmas pageants, carol singing, holiday parties, Christmas baking, cooking, shopping, wrapping, and so on. I waited eagerly for Christmas Day so that I could be done! That year I even took down our tree by December 27th. I had had enough. I just needed the entire season to be over.
I have gained a better perspective over the last few years. Our children grew up, and we began to shave events and programs off our calendars. We started to embrace Advent more and not give in to the busyness of Christmas. It was hard, and it felt odd. The more we did less, the weirder we felt. It did not feel like Christmas unless all of us were bone tired and battling a cold or sore throat. I started doing Advent devotionals for the children while they complained. I slowed my activity pace, forcing the others also to slow down. And, of course, when 2020 came around, it gave all of us a new way of looking at celebrations and gatherings.
I started to feel very proud of how our family was doing things. We were embracing Advent. We were not skipping over and running right into Christmas on December 1st. Instead, we were learning to wait, to anticipate, and to be eager to celebrate Jesus’s birth.
But then, my OCD and my competitive nature caught up with me, and I lost track of the importance and beauty of slowing down. Slowing down should have helped me savour the season. But I wanted to do it right. I wanted to do it best. So, I felt like I was competing against myself in getting Advent right. It made me feel better than others. I was not rushing into Christmas like every crazy person; I was enjoying the four weeks of Advent. As a result, I was a better Christian.
Well, I realized along the way that I was not precisely enjoying Advent, and I did not have any Christmas spirit. I knew that as a family, we had made some wise choices, but if I wanted to learn anything from those choices, it would mean embracing them and asking God to teach us the mysteries of Advent instead of using them as a tool to feel better about ourselves. I was going through the motions but not learning anything. I felt like I was working for an award I knew I would not receive!
I knew what I wanted out of this season. I had spent decades rushing through the business of Christmas, and I no longer wanted that. I craved the depth, the season's richness, and the longing for a Saviour in our broken world. There is darkness in our world, all around us. Loved ones dying, sickness, children struggling, broken marriages, homelessness, loneliness, and the list could go on. I did not want to rush toward Christmas without feeling the anguish that came before.
I had my demons to battle and darkness to overcome, but as a Christian, I could not be immune to the pain and suffering of others. Advent reminds us that we all suffer; as humans, we must be aware of each other’s pain. We cannot consider ourselves exempt from that.
We speak of Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love during Advent. For me, Hope is the most significant theme. As people who believe in the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we have Hope. We have Hope eternal. We could not live in a world where there was no Hope.
And so, this year, while we celebrated the delights of Christmas with all the fun activities, I also wanted to read a couple of books on Advent. I set myself a goal of two chapters every day. I tried hard to stick to the plan, but being human, frail & often tired, I did not reach the goal. I managed to stumble my way through a quarter of each book. I spent the majority of yesterday kicking myself for not getting it done. Still, when I looked back at the pages I had marked, highlighted, or underlined, I realized I needed to one, give myself grace, and two, praise God for teaching me to slow down and savour the lessons I had learned from those marked-up pages.
I went from one extreme of busy Christmases to the other extreme of proving myself. I suppose I could call it the “holier than thou art” attitude. My selfish nature was exposed, and I realized I was a sinner in desperate need of a Saviour.
So, as we turn in this evening, heading into Christmas Eve and Christmastide, there might be things that never got done in each of our homes. Cards that never got posted, cookies that never got iced, gifts that might not be wrapped, or flights that never took off. There might also be lovely devotionals unopened the entire month of December, and we might wish we could
sleep all day for Christmas due to exhaustion. And that is OK.
We will still celebrate Christmas Day and rejoice in the birth of our Lord. He is still our Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. He came for us. He came for us in a humble and relatable way. He knows our hearts, anxieties, worries, and fears, and He will restore our souls with Hope. In Him, we are secure because He is our Hope. He calms the anxieties and stirrings in our souls, and He gives us peace.
So, let us celebrate the Light of the world who came down for us to deliver us from the darkness. Let us bask in His glory and rejoice in Him.