Musings from the month of September

Reading, Thinking, Writing and Resting in God

Hey everyone, it's been a while since I have been here. I am unsure how September breezed by, but here we are, and it’s already a week in October.

I have been writing throughout the last month, but they have been for other publications, and I have not found time to connect with my readers. Thank you so much for continuing to subscribe and being patient. I am so grateful for all your encouragement and for cheering me on!

It has been a weird, busy, and emotional September. In August, I felt I was anticipating our children's return to school and university, and by the third week of August, everyone had returned. It took me a few days to fall back into a schedule. While I love having a routine, settling into one takes a while. I am often plagued with the desire to consume information, news, books, research articles, and even social media, and I usually have to be ruthless with my time. There is always the nagging feeling of what I might have missed out on if I had not kept up! But then the other part of my brain tells me I have not missed out on anything. So, be it global news, Christian news, things happening in America or the town I live in, or even keeping up with college and high school friends back in India, it’s a Lot!! Somedays, I would rather avoid technology together and live in blissful ignorance.

Still, I am thankful for the gift of technology and the means to connect with loved ones across the globe.

I have spent much of September reading and working on an upcoming research project. It has also been a strange month as I have been struggling with some health challenges, nothing severe, but still frustrating. There is no fun going through perimenopause. Sadly, there is no miracle cure, but I find creative ways to get through the day!

 As a family, we were also busy with Cross Country season for our teenager. The thing about Cross Country meets on weekends is that they start early, super early, so for the last seven Saturdays or so, we have been up before 5 am, dropping our child off to take her bus, then returning home for coffee and heading out to the fields to watch her run. The meets are fun; watching these young people push their bodies to the max is always awe-inspiring. They train hard, and watching them challenge themselves is impressive. So, most Saturdays, given that we are up by 4:30 a.m., we usually end by 9 p.m.!

September was also a month of steady reading and marinating in books. I started August with Kaitlyn Schiess's The Ballot and the Bible[1], an eye-opening, nuanced, well-researched, and wise book on using scripture in our political life. Then, I did a deep dive into the work of Dr.Bryan Loritts, a pastor, author, and speaker. I had heard of his books a few years back but had not read them. But then some events occurred in life, which made me start thinking. Dr. Loritts writes on various topics, including the multi-ethnic church, the struggle for ethnic unity, and how, as Christians, we need to "move from mere diversity into a biblical vision for ethnic unity." [2]

I devoured his books, Insider Outsider, Right Color Wrong Culture. I am now waiting for his latest book, The Offensive Church: Breaking the Cycle of Ethnic Disunity, to arrive in my mailbox.

As an immigrant Indian to the United States, my life has been incredibly blessed, but my Indian identity is not something that I will ever forget. It is a part of who I am and impacts everything I do. My identity with Christ is the center of my existence, but being a Christ follower does not remove my Indianness. 

So, during some seasons, I find myself leaning into my Indian identity more to remind myself of that part of me that my interactions with the white majority culture can sometimes suppress.

While waiting for one book, I also began reading Dr. Esau McCaulley's latest book, How Far to the Promised Land [3]. While some of it might seem like a lot of heavy reading, I long to dive into the stories that made people who they are, and Dr. McCaulley’s voice is much needed in our world today. I am halfway through the book and have had to stop and breathe through the tears multiple times. I know he did not intend for people to weep their way through his book, but the story of his childhood and the experiences that shaped him and his siblings broke my heart. But through it all, one sees the redeeming hand of God. This book also emphasizes the importance of sharing our stories, life stories, and experiences with our families and friends. Our stories are important because they remind us of God’s faithfulness and presence in our lives, even if we don’t see it or feel it, or sometimes don’t believe He is still there.

As I worked through all these, I couldn’t help but feel burdened and heavy-hearted for the struggles people have experienced. Even though I have lived here for nearly two decades, I have often felt like an outsider. Of course, my life has been charmed, and my family and I have never struggled. I have never felt marginalized or persecuted for the color of my skin.

But it was important to me to understand what my African-American brothers and sisters have experienced. And not just them but also the experiences of my Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, Filipino, Native American, Caribbean, and African brothers and sisters. And all the diversity one sees between North and South India. Indians are not a monolith but a nation of so much cultural diversity.

When we came to the United States, there were many Indians who had come before us and paved the way for us. But I have heard many of their stories and years of struggles and loneliness.

 My friend and author Prasanta Verma has a new book in Spring 2024, Beyond Ethnic Loneliness. She writes about the various types of loneliness one can experience, whether an immigrant or a native of the land. Do be on the lookout for her book! I have had a sneak peek at it, and it's terrific.

So, between my month of reading, I also had the privilege of writing for the Redbud Writers Guild on the Contemplative Life and building a Multi-Ethnic Community for the Asian American Christian Collaborative. I have also started researching a new project about South Indian Christian Women in North America. I have had the opportunity to meet with some fantastic women who were immigrants to this country and have worked hard, struggled, and gone through so many experiences, all the while depending on Christ to make it work to survive. Hearing their stories inspires and challenges me. It reminds me that they have paved the way for me and others like me to use their voices, tell stories, share life experiences- good and evil, encourage and lift each other, and remind them to turn to God and trust Him.

 Sharing your thoughts is a privilege and even more significant when others read them; it is an absolute blessing. But while writing can be lonely, it is also cathartic. Somedays, I find my head filled with ideas, thoughts, and words that can come pouring out. But other days, it’s more challenging, and they get stuck, especially when I feel big emotions; they don’t flow very well.

On days like that, spending time with God is the only thing that works. I need Him to remind me that He controls my emotions. My fears, anxieties, worries, sadness, and heartbreak don’t hold me. I KNOW I can bring all those emotions to Him, and He will understand and use them.

So, I found September to be a rich, fulfilling, and yet challenging month. I feel so sad at times it’s hard to function. But there are many suitable lessons to learn from others’ stories, which lifts me. While I ache for their pain, I also see how God works amidst it, redeeming it for something much better. He works with and through that pain to heal and use them.

October is now well on its way, and I surrender my time, thoughts, and words to God the Creator. I am sure my musings will also continue this month, and I wonder what He will teach me this month.

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[1]

https://kaitlynschiess.com/

[2]

https://bryanloritts.com/

[3]

https://esaumccaulley.com/