The Strange Limbo

Musings on the year that has been and thankful for the Eeyores of this world.

It is December 31, 2024 here in India. We are on the brink of a new year and in some parts of the world, they have already heralded 2025. This space between Christmas and New Year is often a challenging space for many of us. It’s the in-between the now and not yet and a strange limbo.

We fill the time with work, family activities, celebration, vacations and holidays but for a lot of people, it’s a weird space. I for one, have always found this space hard. I never quite know what to do with it. Some seasons I long for the hustle and bustle of activities to keep my brain occupied and other times I crave the rhythms of my daily mundane life. I long for the boring, the constant patterns which bring me comfort.

But in the last year I have found that time and time again God is calling me to step out of my rhythms and embrace new ones that challenge me. It is hard. It is not what I want and I have found myself rebelling against Him. Wanting my dreams, my wishes, my desires, wanting to embrace my callings, wanting the people that truly see me around me, encouraging and lifting me - I have wanted things that bring me joy and peace.

Despite the many blessings of 2024, I have struggled with discontent and deep anger. There is a restlessness in my soul and I keep wondering, “what now Lord, what is it that you desire of me, what do you want from me?” The questions fall out of my mouth in despair, frustration and with tears. I have experienced moments of joy in the last year, thankfulness, gratitude and multiple blessings and yet I have felt moments of being bereft, lonely, a loneliness of my soul that only God can quench.

And I wonder if there is anyone out there who might have felt a similar way? I have to be honest, my life is charmed. I could not actually find a reason to complain and anyone looking in from the outside will probably question my attitude. But I know as you know that I am more than likely not alone. There is probably at least one person out there who has struggled like me.

I wonder if there are people in the world who struggle and always look for the positive or the silver lining around every cloud and then the people who only see the grey cloud? Hey, maybe the world does have a certain number of Eeyores marching their way through life and not everyone needs to be a Tigger.

I have empathy for the Eeyores in this world. Most of the time I can find it in me to practice gratitude and contentment but 2024 has been a tad more complicated and I have gravitated towards Eeyore. The beloved donkey from A.A Milne’s classic Winnie the Pooh is often depicted grey, gloomy and terribly pessimistic but I have often found him a soul mate. Eeyore can be depressing when looking at the bounciness of Tigger and the cheerfulness of Pooh but there is wisdom in his words. He does not shy away from the pain and challenges he faces in the 100 acre wood. He knows when things are rough and he says it like it is. Eeyore does not shut himself away from the pain of the world and embraces the hard while also being there for his friends no matter what. Happiness is not a constant,but an emotion that we cultivate. Gratitude is something we practice daily and a discipline. There are seasons of life that are rough, bumpy and we might lose our tails, but thats ok. It’s ok to be sad. As one author writes, “ it is easy to try when you are happy but when you are gloomy, trying is brave!”

So as I march towards 2025 I consider the words of the Psalmist who says,

“Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

You might have had a rough year, an awful year and today might just seem like one more day, but if you are willing to walk into 2025 with a heart of hope, trusting yourself to try, being brave in the light of pain, know that you are not alone.

The God who loves you, the one born to give you and me eternal life, the one whose birth we celebrated just a few days ago, holds you close. He can handle depression, pain, uncertainty, confusion, anger, frustration and all other emotions. He is not afraid of emotion. He sees and He knows. He holds you so close so march into the new year with hope. I will hold your hand from afar and cheer for you. I will cheer for the Eeyores of this world, and help pin your tail back on! It is going to be ok and we will march together, encouraging each other through this next season.

I leave you with a Prayer for the Ending of the New Year by Wayne Garvey taken from Every Moment Holy, Volume III.

O Lord of Eternity, every year I ask,

“Where did the time go?”

And here again, I tear off the last

page of my calendar, and ponder:

“A year gone, and to what end or profit?”

I call to mind the psalmist saying,

“Teach us to number our days, that

we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

And though my actions may suggest otherwise,

I know my days are not of infinite supply.

Therefore, help me to undertake

an accounting of the past year.

On the dark side of my ledger, help me be

honest enough to see the angry words,

the acts of self-centeredness, the arrogant

thoughts that have soured my walk with you.

Make me aware of the divisions I have created with others,

and how that may have driven them further from you.

Lord, if I dwelt on these failings, I would

conclude the year was a net loss.

But I know that in the divine economy of your grace

there’s a brighter side to the ledger I keep.

Bring to my remembrance those actions

that were reflective of your presence in my life,

the moments when patience prevailed,

when self-interest was restrained by love.

And those precious times when joy came to

others and myself because I sought you first.

Over all this, your love, your patience, and

your forgiveness prevail,

making the balance sheet of this year

reflect a great profit.

For you have walked with me, and anything

I have learned from you is eternal gain.

This turning of the last page is not the end.

For you maintain no ledgers, and you

separate me from my sins as far as

the east is from the west.

You are no keeper of accounts, O Lord,

and New Year’s Eve is an artificial human construct;

Our hours will march on whether

we celebrate this night or not.

And tomorrow will bring a new calendar,

a fresh stack of pages,

which we will fill with our deeds

and you with your grace.

New opportunities for obedience await.

So in these final minutes of 2024,

I reflect, repent, and rejoice.

Even though I fail, You will not.

You will redeem.

You will make all things new

—including me.

And I am thankful.

Amen.