The Week After, the days after...

Musings of someone with complicated & conflicted feelings

I have had words in my head for the last week, but most of the time, I wrote them in my head and then went on with my day. Partly because I don’t think I have anything worthwhile to say, partly because I know not many people read what I write, and honestly, I am not the most academic or creative writer. Ramblings don’t count as writing, do they? But in the words of my wise friend

O. Alan Noble

(whose writing everyone should follow), “Writing is weird, Pro Tip-keep writing.”

I remember picking up my phone around 4 am last Wednesday (Don’t judge me - my phone is my alarm and sleep mode is on). The results were coming in, and I saw the news with blurred eyes. Then, I went back to sleep. On a regular week, I listen to a set of news podcasts and radio shows like clockwork. Wednesday, I decided not to turn anything on. I did not necessarily immediately turn to praise music or even liturgy, something I crave deeply daily.

I stayed in the silence, which was deafening to me. A lot of my daily formation has to do with listening to stuff! Good or bad or just culture & information, we are formed by what we consume! Having a day of work helped me focus elsewhere. I also stayed off social media, which helped massively.

The silence continued for the next few days despite my inbox filling up with Substacks, Blogs, Publications, and videos from people commenting on the election and sharing their feelings. People from both sides, from the middle, Christian and non-Christian, share thoughts, critique, advice, encouragement, hope, anger, frustration, and so much more. Most days, I carve out at least an hour to read through all the material that comes my way, but last week, I left them all unread. It also helped to have some extra Google storage during this time. I clicked on a few a couple of times but quickly closed the screen.

I struggled to engage. I was still determining what to feel or write in the post-election season. I felt conflicted, confused, and even worried that what I might say would hurt people. I also did not want my emotions and judgment to be clouded by others. Maybe it was self-preservation?

Having a busy week helped, but by the weekend, I could feel myself spiraling a little. I needed to talk, I needed to process, but I wondered why this mattered so much. Why did it seem so weird? After all, it was just an election. Elections come and go, and there will be another one in four years! What was the big deal?

But the reality, I had to admit, was that it affected the way I saw my little world, the bubble I lived in, the people I surrounded myself with, and the ones I did life with. Sometimes, I wish we could return to a world where newspapers, the morning and evening news, and perhaps radio were the only content available. I remember days when my family would sit down to watch the nightly news broadcast where information was shared from across the globe, and things were not sensationalized and dissected. Perhaps that is wishful thinking.

Our world has changed in many ways over the years, and there is no going back to what it was. It has been over a week since the election, and I don't know what has changed or what will change.

But the sun still rises every morning. Babies are born, people who have lived long lives lay down in eternal rest, children go to school and play in the park, Cancer claims the lives of many, we laugh, cry, sing, pray, work, plan our Thanksgiving menu and bring the Christmas tree out of storage. The stores are filled with happy shoppers, churches with worshippers, and many with questions and broken hearts. The earth still turns on its axis. The sunsets and the cooler nights are ushered in in my corner of the world; the world moves on.

I have started to listen to snippets of the news, dinner conversations where people share their opinions and you listen politely, and social media posts where you engage with care and thought. I have celebrated with loved ones, hugged dear ones, and been encouraged deeply by wise ones.

night sky with stars

I want to live a life of gratitude. Some days, it is easy; others are harder but not impossible. When it is unbearable, I cry to the One who hears me. I know He does as He hears the cries of a million others scattered like stars across the night sky. A world much larger than this pocket where I find myself.

I am so thankful and humbled for that. I remember that many wonder, like me, what this season will bring. Advent is around the corner, and I anxiously await what is to come. I know that God is in control—He always was and always will be. I don’t need to spiral. I just need to breathe and just be.

While writing this for readers to engage with, I wanted to share lots of resources, but I figured that people are inundated with sufficient content and resources these days. So, I will leave you with this liturgy instead.

A Liturgy For Election Day ( Every Moment Holy III)

If we are pleased with the results of today’s election, let us yet in humility remember that every earthly authority must one day give way to your eternal rule, so let us in grace love all our neighbors well.

Or, if we are disappointed, let us resist all fear, anger, accusation, and bitterness, but instead renew our trust in you— and let us in grace love all our neighbors well.

Whatever the outcome of this election, let our citizenship and our hope be rooted first in your heavenly kingdom, that we might live in exile here as winsome ambassadors of our soon-returning King— always in grace loving all our neighbors well.

Photo by Finn Schürmann on Unsplash